"Love One Another!" 18/2011 → A testimony
When I was in elementary school, I started going to my first discos. Naturally, there was drinking, to loosen the tongue, so to speak, and to get up nerve with the girls. I had no idea I was becoming an alcoholic. It wasn’t long before I was making special trips to the liquor store so as to down a beer behind the building — in the morning at that.
Later I had a nice, levelheaded girlfriend and for a while I cut down on my drinking. But my craving for alcohol turned out to be stronger. I broke with my girl, or worse than that — I got her drunk. I found myself a drinking companion.
By the time we split up, I was drinking so hard I had no self-control. I would wake up in the morning in hospital and the doctor would ask me if I knew why I was there. I said no, since I really did not know. The doctor would tell me I had had an alcoholic fit. He urged me to seek treatment. If I went on as I did, he said, I’d be dead before I turned forty.
Alcohol brought on other sinful consequences; namely, masturbation and whoring. I never confessed these last two sins — out of fear, shame, or some inner diabolic resistance. It was not until the assistant pastor at my parish handed me a copy of your magazine that I took stock of my despicable behavior. I began praying the chaplet of Divine Mercy. After a while I joined the Movement of Pure Hearts (MPH), which was not an easy decision to make. My friends laughed at me, saying, “You join the Movement of Pure Hearts? Go on! Spare yourself the embarrassment!”
When I began to read the Bible and meditate on it, I realized God writes nobody off and never excludes anyone from a part in His glory. The very opposite is true. He seeks out the lost sheep and gladly receives anyone who confesses his sins honestly and contritely and turns to His mercy.
I joined MPH and made a clean breast of my sins, even the most embarrassing ones. For the first time in ever so many years I examined my conscience and wrote down all my faults on a card. My confessions used to be mechanical, without sorrow or remorse. Now that I am in MPH my confessions are altogether different. I also receive Holy Communion frequently. I still fall into sin at times, but I am also able to give courageous witness to Christ and His love — something that was unthinkable before.
I find it hard to forgive those who advertize beer as if it were the only thing that counts in life, etc. They have no idea how many people believe them and ruin their lives as a result — as I did. It is so easy to fall into an addiction, and so difficult to pull oneself together and get out of it.
I have been pulling myself together for several years. I no longer reach for alcohol at the drop of a hat. Thanks to Jesus and His Blessed Mother I stay sober. I have decided to make a devotion to the Sacred Heart of Jesus and trust He will heal me of all my weaknesses. I suffer reverses, but with God’s grace I pick myself up again, offering up every day to God in prayer. I delight in the joy He gives me.
I promise to recite the chaplet and rosary for all those who suffer addictions and also for all the members of the Movement of Pure Hearts.
I long for the time when I will never get drunk. I know I will be an alcoholic for the rest of my life, but I want to be a sober alcoholic.
The article was published with the permission from "Love One Another!" in August 2016.
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