Love One Another! 6/2005 → True Love Waits - Pure Hearts
I was an average girl in my early twenties when I met the man who changed my life. He and I spent long hours taking walks and talking. He told me about natural family planning. Until then it had all been mumbo jumbo to me. After reading and studying a booklet on the subject I understood what it was all about theoretically, but the idea of having to undergo regular self-observation left me quite cold.
I grew up where it was assumed you had to have sex or else you would come down with a disease or suffer a depression. In my family sex was a taboo subject. What’s more, my father treated my mother very badly. Whenever I saw this, I vowed I would never let a man treat me that way. I decided I would never marry.
However the boy I met was nothing like this. He was kind, considerate tender, patient and understanding. I liked being and talking with him. I told him things I never told my mother. I soon grew attached to him. At the same time, I was afraid of a permanent relationship as I had seen too many failed marriages, too much cruelty, violence, disrespect and indifference. I didn’t want to live this way.
I did not hide my fears and often discussed them with my boyfriend. He wasn’t perturbed. I didn’t frighten him off with my “litany of faults” which included fear of sex, fear of being a terrible wife and housekeeper, my lack of education, etc. etc.
Despite my fears, after a year and a half we got married. Recalling the booklet I had read, I became terrified. The thought of sex frightened me. Adding to my sense of insecurity was the fact that our house was a mess, in the midst of repairs. I suffered from a great many fears.
My husband assured me that he would not force me into anything. Our wedding night was exactly as he promised. We cuddled up to each other and fell asleep. The next ninety-nine nights passed in the same way. We decided we would not consummate our marriage for a hundred days. What an incredible thing! My husband loved me despite the fact that I would not have intercourse him. All this time he waited patiently. Meanwhile my trust in him grew and grew to the point that now I simply cannot describe it.
Girls often talk about their “first time” with a casual contact, whom they hardly knew. My first time was completely different. It was an act of love, trust and mutual self-giving.
In a few days we will be celebrating our first wedding anniversary. What a marvelous year it has been! Our life together is simply beautiful: filled with love, respect, trust, tenderness and kindness. The presence of these qualities in our marriage makes natural family planning all the more practicable. I am now in my first year of family life studies because I want this way of married life to become generally known. Recently I was at a clinic attending a meeting for engaged couples. A girl in third year was encouraging the couples to attend a course in natural family planning. As I heard her, something inside me shouted out: “Yes, take it! It’s a treasure that will enrich you throughout your married life!”
A few days ago my husband and I decided to invite a child into our life. I want it to be a girl, which, God willing, may well be the case. Thanks to natural family planning this at least is a realizable dream.
With your help I wish to encourage all young women to make use of these natural methods. The sooner you learn them, the better. Remember, they are a real treasure.