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The Function Of Change In Success
By Kurt Mortensen,
the CEO of the Persuasion Institute in Orem,
a professor of public speaking and persuasion,
S. Orem UT, U.S.A.
askkurt at persuasioninstitute com
www.PreWealth.com
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As
you ready yourself for positive changes ahead, watch
how you talk to yourself. In other words, there is
to be no more talking down to yourself like: “Well,
I blew it again.
Surprise, surprise.” Negative self-talk is a dead
giveaway for an attitude tune-up.
Thoughts and attitudes are where change begins. Don’t
take this advice lightly because your thoughts have
the power to control your destiny. When you feel or
think there is no hope, you are right.
Understand that your thoughts control your emotions
and that your emotions control your actions. What
you concentrate on will happen. If your thoughts always
focus on rejection and failure, you will see a self-fulfilling
prophecy in your life.
Change your thoughts, change your focus and you will
change the future.
Draw on strength and support from family and friends
who will support you. Fortify yourself so that you’re
immersed in an environment where success can grow
from success. When you surround yourself with people,
places and things that inspire you, you’ll feel encouraged.
Sometimes we think that all this “change your attitude”
stuff is great, but it doesn’t just click like the
snap of your fingers. It’s true; unfortunately, our
progress and results are rarely instantaneous. It
can take a lot of effort to muster the mental and
emotional fortitude that is necessary to forge ahead
when the support seems so distant.
This concept underscores my point even more: If you’re
having trouble mustering the inspiration for change
yourself, surround yourself with the people and things
that will give you the springboard you need. Moreover,
remind yourself that even under the best circumstances,
progress comes in spurts. There’s no sense in waiting
for everything to be just right before rolling up
your sleeves because it’s just never going to happen.
Let’s face it, fate isn’t going to just catapult you
to the top without any scrapes or bruises. Sometimes,
it will be a matter of taking three steps forward
and one step back. Other times, you’ll go through
a phase of feeling like you’re not taking any steps
forward, and then you will suddenly leap ahead by
ten or twenty steps or more. Don’t fight the natural
growth curve you’re going to experience.
Although the words bear similar meanings, “change”
and “alteration” are not synonymous. Change is driven
from within and governed by the right intentions.
Alteration is based on external factors — what others
will think, what will impress someone, what will enable
you to “keep up” or maybe even just what will appease
someone so s/he’ll leave you alone. The trouble with
all of these examples is that they are most likely
to cause greater insecurity, which in turn breeds
low self-esteem. When you’re feeling low, you’re not
as likely to feel invigorated and ready to take on
your weaknesses, and a downward cycle results.
You’ve got to forget about any influences that lead
you to look to others for approval. If you don’t,
your happiness and success will always hang on the
whims of others, and this reliance will only lead
to a very frail emotional existence. You’ll never
get ahead because you’ll always be fretting over and
worrying about keeping everyone else happy. You must
concentrate on making yourself happy instead. On the
surface, many people are open to change, but privately,
or even subconsciously, they resist change at every
turn. When you don’t make the changes you know are
necessary, you feel weak and depressed. Contrarily,
when you successfully make changes, you feel positive
and in control. Now here is a key thing to understand:
It is not the change that makes us uneasy or gives
us anxiety; it is how we perceive and handle that
change.
Let’s now outline the three key ways in which people
make changes in their lives. One of these ways is
more powerful than the others in terms of conscious,
lasting change: Drastic circumstances require drastic
measures. You could have a heart attack, lose your
job or experience some other sort of personal tragedy.
Where you might not have felt compelled to change
your situation before, however, such events force
you to change. The second way people make change in
their lives is slowly but surely. Gradual changes
like this are more likely to evolve through personal
relationships and other such long-term molding influences.
The third change-inducing factor is internal change.
Both positive and negative factors can compel you,
but it is under this unique method where you have
willfully hit the pause button and made a conscious
transformational decision.
To get change to stick, you must make sure three things
occur. First, you must have a firm commitment to change.
You have to have reached the point where, in your
mind, there is no other option. Second, you must be
willing to pay the price for change’s rewards, persisting
even when you feel weak. Third, you have to know where
the change is taking you. How is this life transformation
going to affect your life? What will the end results
be? One thing that can really alleviate the fear of
the unknown is doing your homework so you know exactly
what to expect. Carefully plan your steps toward success
— even when you’ve never been there before. Remember,
there is much more security traveling new terrain
with a map!
When those closest to you seem to be the most discouraging,
remember that they have only seen you the way you
have always been. They have no experience with the
person you’re going to become. Fair or not, it is
only human nature that we are judged and that we also
judge others based on past experience rather than
projections of their future potential. Some people
may take these sentiments as unsupportive and extremely
crushing to their confidence in proceeding.
If you fall into this category, do not cast your pearls
before swine! This doesn’t mean you shouldn’t still
pursue loving relationships with those around you,
but you don’t have to constantly be laying everything
out on the line for them to scrutinize, either. Why
make yourself vulnerable to those you know are not
going to cheer you on? In this case, it is simply
a matter of being careful and wise about whom you
open up to. On the other hand, some people may find
the naysayer to be a serious motivator. Whatever works
for you, go for it. Just make sure you keep the positive
energy flowing.
Finally, we have all heard the saying that a habit
is made in twenty-one days. If such a short-term benchmark
motivates you, go for it, but don’t believe for a
minute that twenty-one days will make you home free.
Certainly, if you can persist in doing something for
twenty-one straight days, you are on the road to success.
These short-term successes are important because they
enable you to start seeing and tasting what ultimate
success might be like. But also remember that even
after two or three months of steady commitment, we
can still topple from our new routines. Such an experience
would be more closely aligned with alteration than
true change. The key is to continually reinforce your
new habits and to hold yourself accountable to your
new discipline. That way, you won’t revert back to
the old habits of your comfort zone.
About the Author:
Everyone persuades for a living. Whether you’re a
sales professional, an entrepreneur, or a stay at
home parent, you must convince others to your way
of thinking. Find out more at www.PreWealth.com
and get my free report "10 Costly Mistakes."
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