Some people handle gobbledygook in
translation by the hallowed GIGO (gobbledygook in, gobbledygook out) method. I don't. I
like my translations to be crystal-clear. The guys who read the stuff I translate are
businesspeople and they do not have the time or the inclination to pore and ponder over a
text, looking up words in an unabridged dictionary; they want to understand what they have
to read the first time they skim through it. If they don't, they say "damn the
translator," not "damn the author".
The guys who read
the stuff I translate are businesspeople and they do not have the time or the inclination
to pore and ponder over a text, looking up words in an unabridged dictionary.
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All
this business of "crystal-clear translation
for gobbledygook original" may be
a little bit contrary to good translation
theory, but I am not talking about good
translation theory here, I am talking
about earning a living. Readers of business
translations expect to understand what
they read without difficulty, and I have
a family to feed. Therefore I keep it
simple. Perfect reasoning.
So although my recipe for translation
theory may vary from time to time, it
always includes a good shot of Strunk
& White's for the kick. (There is
a bibliography of sorts at the end of
this article.) How much S&W's I use
depends on many factors. Some clients
like it more than others but at least
one guy complained that I write funny
(he was Brazilian, however).
Following my basic recipe, I have developed
a set of survival tools, some of which
are shown below. I conducted a couple
of seminars where participants were shown
how to use some of them. I even intend
to cram all of them into a small book.
But today I must be contented to squeeze
a few of them into this article.
1. My favorite dictionaries
Businesspeople do not like words they
don't know. They find reading a text that
requires frequent trips to the dictionary
an irritating task. Some translators seem
to ignore that and use words that are
seldom found in the target language. Take
homologar? for instance. The Portuguese-English
dictionary will tell you it is homologate,
and a large dictionary will dictionary
will tell you homologate really
corresponds to homologar. However,
homologar is a common word in Brazil
whereas homologate is not nearly
as frequent in English. For instance,
the average Brazilian peão
freely discusses a homologação
da rescisão- whereas an American
hardhat probably would flinch at homologation
of the termination.
That is why I prefer smaller monolingual
dictionaries to homologate, er,
confirm my translation choices.
Black's Law Dictionary has all the legal
terms you can think of, including many
a majority of American lawyers and most
executives do not know. Gifis' is a lot
shorter and, therefore a lot better if
you are working into English. Translators
who dare use a word that is in Black's
but not in Gifi's run the risk of not
being understood.
The same goes for non-technical dictionaries.
Don't go about using a word just because
you found it in the Oxford English Dictionary.
The OED is an excellent dictionary that
contains all the words nobody knows. If
you translate into English, get a few
of those splendid dictionaries they make
for foreigners, such as the Longman Dictionary
of English Language and Culture and try
to limit your vocabulary to its selection.
Of course, for the source language,
the more and bigger dictionaries you have,
the better.
2. The nervous tic
I translate meaning, not nervous
tics. One of my clients begins every second
paragraph with por oportuno, informamos
também que... I refuse to begin
every second paragraph with because
it is opportune we also inform that. I
asked the client why he wrote that way.
He said vício, an addiction.
Then I suggested he should go over
his writings, after they were ready, and
amputate those useless proboscises. He
thought the idea great, but never got
around to implementing it. So I do it
on the translation. By the way, my charges
are based on the word count of original
text.
3. The elevated synonym, the unctuous
adjective, the local reference and the
geography of places unknown
Many Brazilian writers think calling a
rose a rose is beneath their station.
So they call it anything but a rose.
Well, not roses, really, but take the
Constitution, for instance. I have a book
where it is variously called a lei
maior, a lei magna, nossa lei fundamental
and even a lex legum. Now the
Constitução, by any
other name, should be the Constituition
and nothing else. I also refuse to
translate o pretório excelso
as anything other than the Brazilian
Supreme Court.
The love of elevated language also forces
other authors to add an unctuous adjective
to almost every noun. A lawyer will refer
to the guy who works for the other guys
as meu erudito colega or o ilustre
jurista. My erudite colleague or the
illustrious jurist inside a business
letter sounds too unctuous or ironical
in English (three spoonfuls of Eugene
Nida) and I usually resolve that into
my colleague, counsel for X, or
something of that sort. The Dickensian
close sem mais para o momento, apresentamos
os protestos de nossa elevada estima becomes
yours sincerely.
One of my favorites among constructions
of that type is o legislador pátrio,
which I do not dare translate literally,
and is usually best translated as the
Brazilian Congress. Certain writers
seem to be ashamed of the word brasileiro
and replace it with pátrio
whenever they can.
This leads us to the third type in this
group: the local reference. O Tesouro
Nacional may be better translated
by the Brazilian Treasury, a moeda
nacional by Brazilian currency.
A língua patria by the Portuguese
language. O vernáculo is also
the Portuguese languageanother
case of the elevated synonym.
The last type in this group is the local
geographical reference that needs some
expliciting (a pound of Peter Newmark).
When a newspaper in São Paulo refers
to a baixada, it means a baixada
santista, which is better translated
as the coastal area around the city
of Santos. O cerrado may by the
scrublands of Central Brazil, where
the capital, Brasilia, is located, but
also a derogatory reference to the
Federal Government, the irony of which
may have to be compensated somewhere else.
4. The sesquipedal sentence
Portuguese apparently can handle long
sentences better than English can, for
a number of alleged reasons I will spare
you. Yes, I know William Faulkner wrote
sentences longer than the average roundworm
and some American lawyers suffer from
periodophobia (British lawyers can be
stoppophobic). But being neither Faulkner
nor lawyer, I prefer not to burden my
reader with those kilometer-long Brazilian
sentences (Brazilians don't write mile-long
sentences; we have gone metric ages ago).
So, I start looking for a good splicing
place whenever the sentence runs to more
than 25 words.
Natural splicing places are conjunctions
and relative pronouns, of course. My favorite
is sendo que. Have you noticed
how we can write an extraordinarily long
sentence, tack a sendo que on at
the end for a breather and then go on
for another hundred words or so without
stop? I have been told sendo que is
being that, but old Mr. Nida says
it is not. So I translate sendo que
as a period.
5. The absolute clause
Even colloquial Portuguese will be sprinkled
with initial absolute constructions, which
are possible in English, but not nearly
as common. Thus it is often better to
develop them into clauses with finite
verbs. For instance an initial informado
por um acessor de que... may be after
an advisor informed him that...Or
indagado se pretendia continuar may
very well be when asked whether he
intended to go on.
6. The case of the missing noun
Many Brazilian gobbledygookers are in
the habit of dropping the noun out of
noun-adjective phrases. For instance,
petição inicial becomes
a inicial. If you don't know that,
your are lost, because you are bound to
translate it as the initial? whereas
it should be the complaint.
7. Abstractions, positive and negative
The latest fashion in Brazilian gobbledygook
is the negative abstraction. Abstractions
have always plagued gobbledygook, both
in English and Portuguese, it is true,
but somehow I feel English texts use fewer
abstracts than their Brazilian counterparts.
Probably the effect of Strunk & White
and their followers north of the Rio Grande.
Quantity is of no importance however.
What matters is that sometimes a Portuguese
abstraction does not translate well into
English.
Have a look at this: Excesso de pluviosidade
está causando um retardo na construção
de estradas, which I found in a newspaper.
Two abstractions: pluviosidade
and retardo. Excess pluviosity
is causing a delay in road construction
in English is preposterous,
but even Brazilian radio reporters have
taken to talking like that and the average
traffic report in São Paulo radio
stations sounds like a translation from
a German treatise on higher metaphysics.
Using Vinay & Darbelnet's transposition
tool, you can change the first abstract
into a concrete noun and the second into
a verb: excess [or "too much"]
rainfall is delaying road construction.
Funny that this translates literally
into perfectly good Portuguese: excesso
de chuva (or "chuva demais")
está retardando a construção
de estradas.
A existência de extintores em restaurantes
é uma obigatoriedade. I did find this
in my morning paper. I had an extra cup
of coffee to help gulp it down. How can
I say obrigatoriedade in English?
Obligation? So, existence of
fire extinguishers in restaurants is an
obligation? Or all restaurants
are required to keep fire extinguishers?
The following beauty is cribbed from Equivalences,
an excellent book if you know French:
a audiência tem três características:
oralidade, publicidade e contraditório.
Try translating the three abstractions.
Better translate it as the hearing
has three characteristics: it must be
oral, it must be public and both sides
must be heard.
However, the negative abstraction is even
worse: a falta de uma lei específica
resulta na inexigibilidade do imposto.
What is inexigibilidade in English?
Non-claimability? Is this a "virtual
word", one of those words that is
not necessarily in any dictionary but
can be coined by anyone with sufficient
chutzpah? Should we render it as the
lack of a specific law results in the
non-claimability of the tax? May be,
but how about the tax may not be claimed
unless a specific law is enacted?
This, of course, requires quite a few
spoonfuls of Vinay & Darbelnet transposition
and modulation, but reads a lot better.
Envoi and Bibliography of Sorts
Envoi (not envoy, which is something else)
is not in dictionaries for foreigners
and is a word I would hardly use in translation,
but this is an original text and translators
are supposed to have a large vocabulary
anyway.
I could go on and on developing this article,
but I had to stop somewhere and I decided
to stop where I did. I will probably return
to the subject in future articles, if
this raises as much interest as I think
the issue deserves.
There is a lot of talk about whether we
should translate from our native
language into a foreign language.
There is even a very interesting and realistic
article on that subject, called Direction
of Translation by Allison B. Lonsdale
in the Routledge Encyclopedia of Translation.
But I don't translate into English
because of what professor Lonsdale says.
I translate into English because when
I began nobody told me I should notand
when they did it was too late to stop.
In fact, I think it is excellent training:
one learns to translate into Portuguese
by translating into English and vice versa.
Thank God I am not a university professor.
I seldom wax theoretical and thus am not
adept at preparing bibliographies, but
the data below will certainly help you
find the books, if your really wanto to.
S&W's obviously refers to the classic
Elemens of Style (Macmillan) by
William Strunk Jr. and E. B. White. There
are several other books on good English
writing and one of my favorites is Style,
by J. Williams (Scott, Foresman and
Company). These two should be required
reading wherever advanced English is taught.
They are not.
I own J. P. Vinay and J. Darbelnet's classic,
Stylistique comparée du français et
de l'anglais, in the first French
edition, by Didier, but I saw an English
translation recently. I have not had a
chance to examine it, though. Worth reading
even if you do not translate French. Equivalences,
a fascinating book by Eric Astington,
(Cambridge) amplifies and extends V&D's
work in many ways. Unfortunately, it only
compares French and English. A nice, short,
introduction to translation techniques
is Procedimentos Técnicos de Tradução,
by Heloisa Gonçalves Barbosa (Pontes).
If you have not been introduced to translation
theory before, this may be the book to
begin withif you can find it.
Peter Newmark's Approaches to Translation
(Pergamon) is one of my favorites,
one of those marvelous books by someone
who knows not all translation studies
should by restricted to literary translation.
Black's Law Dictionary (West) is,
as far as I know, the largest English
law dictionary. Barron's publishes a shorter
dictionary by Steven Gifis,
my favorite for into-English work.
Longman, Cambridge and Collins Cobuild
publish superb dictionaries for foreigners.
Even if you are a native speaker of English,
you should have a look at them. The basic
idea behind them is not all the words
there are, but all the words people
use. Wonderful to help you avoid those
texts that are perfectly correct but do
not read well because the vocabulary is
so highfalutin'. The best words are those
found in at least two of them.
I have never been able to lay my hands
on any original work by Eugene Nida. However
his theories are well known and references
are often found in other people's work,
for instance, in Peter Newmark.
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