Sense of Life. Articles in English. The pure gift of self.
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The pure gift of self

“The pure gift of self is when you don’t want anything for yourself: no satisfaction, no compensation, no gratitude, no affection.”

The pure gift of self

Out of His paternal love, God warns us against being driven by the “… passions of our flesh, following the desires of flesh and senses …” (Eph. 2:3). Sins resulting from “fornication, impurity, licentiousness” (Gal. 5:19), so such things as premarital sex, marital infidelity, homosexual acts, pornography, petting, masturbation and other sins of impurity, kill love and deepen egoism, and so they lead to a horrific reality of utter pride. We can prevail in the struggle for purity of heart only in unity with Jesus. By uniting ourselves with Him in daily prayer, in sacramental confession and in the Eucharist, we can “Put to death, therefore, whatever in you is earthly: fornication, impurity, passion, evil desire and greed” (Col. 3:5). This is not only a struggle with your own lewdness, but also with the power of evil. We will certainly triumph, but only in unity with Christ.

Assess your own heart

Jesus’ teachings on growing in pure love which the mystic Alicja Lenczewska recorded in her spiritual diary are priceless: “Love, my child, is not a matter of being attached to each other, but rather of liberating each other. True love is found only in freedom from expectations and cravings, not only in reference to the physical dimension, but above all to spiritual desires. The pure gift of self is when you don’t want anything for yourself: no satisfaction, no compensation, no gratitude, no affection. Only then can you perform acts of true goodness, because only then does your heart not produce the things that are destructive for you yourself, and indirectly to others: resentment, disappointment and aversion leading to the condemnation of others”.

“My Love is quiet and selfless, wanting only to help. It doesn’t concern itself with its own interests, doesn’t desire pleasure or demonstrative gestures and words”

On the path of maturing in love, we must make the daily effort to rein ourselves in through discipline and acts of asceticism, as well as faithfulness and perseverance in opening our hearts to the healing love of Jesus in daily prayer and the sacraments of confession and the Eucharist.

The Lord Jesus also warns: “Beware! Satan wields a weapon imitating yours: a dirty, sullied ‘love’ which is in fact evil and filth in disguise. Your weapon must shine with purity; with my lustre of truth and goodness. Then its radiance will illuminate the darkness and fill your hearts with peace and the Pure Love that I am […].

Show them my words of warning so that they don’t accept Satan’s ‘love’, full of egoism, jealousy, lasciviousness and pride, in place of the holy and pure love that I offer them, while convincing themselves and others that this is my Creation. My Love is quiet and selfless, wanting only to help. It doesn’t concern itself with its own interests, doesn’t desire pleasure or demonstrative gestures and words. Assess your own hearts, be vigilant and discern where the desires of your hearts come from and what they lead to. If they are for satisfying your own needs, they are not from me. If they are for the help and care of others, then I am their author. Be attentive that my Love isn’t replaced by a substitute found in somebody else’s arms. Be prudent, so that your behaviour won’t be a scandal and provocation for others who don’t understand because I didn’t give them the same light. Don’t exalt yourselves, because you don’t know what others are called to or how much light I have given them. Don’t deign to make saints of yourselves, since that is a temptation from Satan. I provide holiness to my children who for my sake forget themselves and desire nothing for themselves; who, as I do for you, manage to endure persecution and humiliation in love and peace for my glory. Be cautious! Satan is like a roaring lion that lurks among you and looks for someone to devour.”

Prudence and moderation

The Lord Jesus provides the principles by which we are to guide ourselves when we express love for each other: “There is no limit to the expression of love, but prudence and moderation are necessary. You must know when to express love, to whom, and how. There is no limit to love expressed in your heart, as long as the inspiration for it is the wellbeing of the other person.

“Assess your own hearts, be vigilant and discern where the desires of your hearts come from and what they lead to. If they are for satisfying your own needs, they are not from me. If they are for the help and care of others, then I am their author”

In the love expressed by the flesh, you must do what is pure and rooted in my inspiration. And above all, that which serves the wellbeing of the person involved, of others, and your own. Do only what may be done in the light of day under the gaze of others. If there arises in you any inclination towards covering up, vagueness or concealing, this is evidence of impurity of intention. My Love in those who wish to maintain purity has nothing to hide. There is only a need for discretion in the physical love between spouses. If you love a person with my Love, you will not be driven by the curiosity of the experience, the desire to test yourself or the other person, or the limits of how far you can go in physical closeness while maintaining a so-called purity, because then purity is already lost. The magnitude of pure love is not expressed in ever more daring acts of physical closeness, but rather in an ever diminishing need for physical closeness and an ever greater wish to endure sacrifice and suffering for the other person. It is clinging to someone with spiritual love — enveloping them with prayerful, supportive, selfless love. The ways of expressing this kind of love are subtle, and externally are very delicate and moderate. The richer they are internally, the simpler and more reserved they are in expression. And vice versa: the search for an ever better developed form of expression testifies internal impoverishment. Look at what is happening in the world today: the deficit of pure love originating from me has caused such highly developed and diverse approaches to physical expression that they embrace perversions. That is why you should reach out to each other in my Love not so much in physical closeness as in spiritual unity and readiness to serve where there is a true need, not resulting from an exaggerated selfcenteredness and search for pleasure — from both sides”.

The Lord Jesus wants to teach you to love with pure love, and that is why He asks you to express your assent to His love daily. For Him, there are no situations that are beyond hope. The sin or slavery to sin from which He cannot free you doesn’t exist. You have only to trust Him completely and give Him your heart to be healed. So throw yourself into His loving arms and consign all your sins, weaknesses and inclinations toward evil to Him. Be patient: healing and spiritual transformation require time, tranquillity and perseverance. The Lord Jesus will certainly heal you and teach you to love; just express your assent daily and never allow yourself to fall in spirit! If you commit a mortal sin, go immediately to confession. Teach yourself that humility, that truth, that through your own efforts, without Jesus, without assiduous prayer, you are incapable of achieving anything good. When you neglect prayer and don’t drag yourself back up after every serious sin by taking it to confession, you commit a sin of pride. Likewise, you commit a sin of pride when you give up on the struggle to attain a pure heart, and when you don’t allow Jesus to heal you and teach you to love.

The Movement of Pure Hearts

The Lord Jesus invites you to join the community of the Movement of Pure Hearts, to free you from egoism and from every form of dependency, to heal all the wounds of your heart, and to teach you humility and love. When and how can you join the Movement of Pure Hearts (MPH)? Any time! First go to Holy Confession, and when you next receive Jesus in Holy Communion, offer yourself up to Him as His exclusive possession, praying the Prayer of Entrustment of the MPH.

Members of the MPH should recite this act of entrustment to Jesus in the Immaculate Heart of Mary every morning to remember the obligations they have taken upon themselves and to implement them. We ask you to inform the editorial board of Love One Another! of your joining the MPH. We will send you a special blessing and inscribe your names into the Book of Pure Hearts. When temptations attack you, call immediately on Mary’s help, reciting the prayer We Flee to Your Protection. This short prayer works like an exorcism. “God is faithful, and he will not let you be tested beyond your strength, but with the testing he will also provide the way out so that you may be able to endure it” (1 Cor. 10:13).

Make the effort every day to work on your character. Plan your day so that your first priority is time for prayer. I encourage you, if possible, to attend mass daily, as well as worshipping the Most Holy Sacrament. Take advantage of Love One Another! magazine in evangelising, as well as in your formation in the MPH. The Lord Jesus very much desires that you write down your testimony and send it to the editorial board. The ministry of Love One Another! (which is published in 23 languages) is another way in which the Lord Jesus wishes to reach out to human hearts throughout the world. The editorial board prays the rosary and the Chaplet of Divine Mercy every day for all our readers, as well as for the members of the MPH. We also ask that you support us through your prayers. “May the God of peace himself sanctify you entirely; and may your spirit and soul and body be kept sound and blameless at the coming of our Lord Jesus Christ” (1 Thess. 5:23).

I bless you with all my heart!

Fr Mieczysław Piotrowski S.Chr.


The article was published with the permission from "Love One Another!" in September 2020.

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