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More Important Things

I was sixteen years old when I met my husband. He was not much older. I could not have imagined then that in eight year’s time we would be standing before God, asking Him to bless our marriage. We were very young and there was little in our early friendship that hinted at such an eventuality. Gradually we matured to the point of deciding on marriage. But a good deal of time had to pass before we could arrive at this decision. Together we experienced moments of joy and moments of sadness. Various life situations arose. We had to deal with the illnesses of our parents and other hardships. In the process we came to know each other better and realize that we could count on each other in every situation. When my boyfriend went into the army, I understood that I missed him terribly, and so I began to think about our future together.

One evening I was staying over at my cousin’s place. We talked a good while before going to sleep. My cousin handed me a copy of Love One Another Magazine. She knew I had not yet come across it and that I would be interested in reading it. The next day, I read the magazine through at home. On reading the various articles devoted to chastity, I realized that I too wanted to save sexual intimacy for marriage. The only problem was how to tell my boyfriend. Eventually I got up the nerve and, after reading him several articles from Love One Another, I informed him of my intentions. At first he frowned and looked at me as if I had told him something he would never have considered. But after we talked it over a little more, he said fine, if that was what I wanted. I had made it clear to him that my desire to save sex for marriage was so great that if he did not agree, I would rather leave him than give in. He told me that he was prepared wait until our wedding night, and I breathed a sigh of relief. After that, he never tried to talk me into having sex. Fully resigned to wait, he told me that there were more important things between us than sex. I knew then that he held me in high regard and that I really mattered to him. I was delighted that he was different from other boys his age.

The months passed and finally the day came when my boyfriend proposed to me. We set a date for our wedding. A year before the wedding, we went on a walking pilgrimage to Czestochowa, where we consecrated our engagement to Our Blessed Mother. I asked Mary if my boyfriend were indeed the one who would be my husband. I always ask for Our Blessed Mother’s advice, for only Divine Providence knows what is best for me. Suddenly, I knew that if the day of our wedding should come about, then it was so ordained.

We returned from our pilgrimage and began to prepare for marriage. Our marriage classes taught us many interesting things. I deepened my awareness of the importance of saving sex for marriage, and I was happy that this was the way it was going to be for us.

As the date of our wedding approached, I began to suffer menstrual problems. It turned out that I had cysts on my ovaries. While undergoing treatment, I began to be consumed by the fear of not being able to bear children. Essentially, I was resigning myself to the prospect of being childless. Fortunately, I continued to undergo treatment and, focusing my efforts on my master’s thesis and wedding plans, I put aside these dark thoughts.  

Finally the day of our wedding came, and I knew that God’s will was being fulfilled in my life. We celebrated a solemn Holy Mass, had a joyous reception, and then came our long awaited wedding night. Soon after returning from our honeymoon in the mountains, I became aware of something beautiful taking place inside me. God in His goodness had granted us the child that we so desired. I was amazed that our first marital act could have borne such a fruitful result. We took this to be our reward for waiting faithfully for marriage. I am now in my twentieth week of pregnancy, and I am happy to say — thanks be to God! — that everything is going well with the child.

I know that God leads us always, especially in the most difficult moments of our life. I felt this especially when, having resigned to the fact that I was pregnant, I heard a “thank you” for our cooperation with God. Even though I feel well and will be able to work after my maternity leave, my employers will not have me back. And even though I regret this, since it is the job I always dreamed of, still I trust that this is God’s will for me. The most important thing is the child. The rest will work out with God’s help.

I thank Our Blessed Mother for the many graces she has secured for us, that I might carry the child we dreamed of. I thank God for keeping us from premarital sex, for our being able to offer ourselves as a wedding gift to each other. To my mind, there is nothing more beautiful than knowing that my husband holds me as his first and long-awaited partner in life.

Please pray for our little child whom God willed to be conceived, that it might come into the world healthy and grow up for His greater glory.

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The article was published with the permission from "Love One Another!"

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