Review of "The Book of Psalms: A Translation with Commentary" by Robert Alter
By Alexandra Glynn,
song translator in Minnesota, U.S.A.
glal0501 [at] stcloudstate . edu
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Review of "The Book of Psalms: A Translation
with Commentary" by Robert Alter. Norton. New York.
2007. 518 pp.
Robert Alter's recent translation of the
Psalms ought to be taken as asking us: what are we achieving
when we translate the Bible, and what devices can we use
to achieve our goals? Comparing Alter to the King James
nicely points out a set of ways in which a translator can
make meaning through patterning. Mr. Bloom thus will be
proven right, if one accepts his definition of Protestantism,
that The KJV is a Protestant fever of sound and meaningof,
as Bloom calls it "eloquence"consistent
eloquence. Alter's translation, however, could never be
called anything fevered.
The commonly understood tools of alliteration,
assonance, and utilization of the variance in vowel sounds,
these we will not review so carefully. Suffice us to look
at a few instances.
KJV: "Let thy saints
shout for joy" (Psalm 132:9)
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We
would all do well to study and be aware of how much
powerful an effect poetic patterning has on meaning.
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In the KJV the vowels fall from "ai",
to "ou" to "oi" on the last three stressed
syllables. The shouts rise up in joy in the sounds. The closed
and calm vowel in "let" ends up in the sky of joy.
Alter ignores this tool, most of the time. This is typical:
Alter: "And let Your faithful sing gladly."
Here the vowel sounds rise and fall with no thought for
how they might be patterned to affect the meaning. It's
not so easy to find out how glad the faithful are singing.
We know this: they are singing better and more surely in
Hebrew and in KJV English.
Let's look at another example, this time of alliteration
and assonance.
KJV: "O how love I thy law! / It is
my meditation all the day"
(Psalm 119:97).
Alter: "How I loved Your teaching. / All day long
it was my theme."
The King James is full of attention to the sounds, Alter
is not. The two most stressed beats in the first half of
the KJV translation are on love and law, and they alliterate.
So by three things we see how much the psalmist really loves
the law. Very much. The sound pattern of the "l"
alliteration, and the placement of those two most important
words on the two only important stressed syllables in the
line, as well as the words themselves, prove the love of
the law. Alter's words state his love only, on paper, but
not in the air, in soundthey stay like unspoken thoughts
lurking in the brain. Again, the KJV has the power of the
Hebrew. The translation as if first decides what the Hebrew
means. Having decided it means the psalmist loves the law,
the teaching, and this law or teaching is the psalmist's
meditation or theme all the day, the KJV translation sets
the words in English into a sound pattern to declare this
love and its constancy and with those glad sounds stealing
into the reader, or listener's mind, makes it their meditation
all the day.
But we would like to look at two other things that are
not commonly thought of as tools, but which tools the KJV
uses a great deal, and to wonderful effect. Let us take
our first example.
KJV: "Let thy saints shout
for joy" (Psalm 132:9)
/ ' / / ' /
The stress pattern in this sentence is: Let thy saints
shout for joy
There is a pattern established in the first
three beats, and it is flipped and set again in the second
half. The two sides are tied together by the "s"
sound on "saints" and "shout", which
two words divide the two sides of the pattern. This increases
the musicality of the phrase, and the delight of the ear,
and the joy of the shouting saints, evenor tends to
deliver well the sense of saints shouting for joy.
The KJV builds these patterns of stressed
and unstressed syllables everywhere. Note that Alter's line
has no discernable pattern of stresses: And let Your faithful
sing gladly. At least, let's hope Alter is forgetting how
this line might scan. Because what comes to my mind first
is thiswhich makes the meaning of the faithful singing
gladly look very clumsy:
' / ' / ' / ' /
"And let Your faithful sing gladly"
He could have taken those same words (adding
one) and set them into this sort of pattern, to give the
emphasis to the two most important words, and the modifier
of the last one "sing", which is the word "gladly":
' ' / ' ' ' / / '
And your faithful, let them sing gladly.
That would have been very KJV-ish, because,
as we will see, the KJV loves to have a series of unstressed
syllables leading up to the main words, thus stressing them
more strongly.
To take another example:
KJV: "O how love I thy law!
/ It is my meditation all the
day" (Psalm 119:97)
The stress pattern in the second line rises
to the word "meditation", especially the 3rd
syllable of that word. And the other two words that are
stressed are "all" and "day"which,
note, somewhat closely parallel the vowel sounds of "love"
and "law"the KJV layers pattern upon pattern
in an area.
Here is another example of the same patterning:
' ' / ' / ' / ' / '
"Through thy precepts I get understanding:
' ' ' / ' ' / /
Therefore I hate every false way. (Psalm
119:104)
Perhaps in the first half of the line we
can argue about whether "I" gets a stress. But
we know that "get" does not get stressed, and
neither does "thy". We are certain that the most
important words from the Hebrew, "precepts" and
some part of "understanding", get emphasized.
In the second half, we have a beautiful example at the end
of the line with the words "false" and "way"
having quite similar vowel sounds. They also both come at
the end of the line, and both are stressed. And what other
word is stressed in this line, and has the same vowel sound
as "way"? The word "hate." So "false"
has a false vowel sound even in the structure in which it
is set. Alter has: Uphold me that I may be rescued / to
regard Your statutes at all times. Here the first half of
the line is goodit stresses almost exclusively "uphold"
and "rescued"and they begin and end the
line. And the second half is not badthe right words
are stressed. But sound patterns do not play in with the
stress patterns. Alter's is wheezy, and especially while
one is moving from the first half of the line to the second.
The first half of the line, we can say, as a rule, can be
set up and then a pattern made there can be exploited in
the second half. It tends otherwise to clunk, and one is
not sure what to be sure about, in terms of stresses. Alter
has: From Your decrees I gained insight, / therefore I hated
all paths of lies. Once in a while he gets it right, though.
For example: The perverted I hated / And Your teaching I
loved. (Psalm 119:113)
Let us look at one more way in which the
King James sets up patterns. Here we have:
"Hold thou me up, and I shall be safe:
And I will have respect unto thy statutes
continually" (Psalm 119:117)
Here the word "continually" is
itself going on and on, which is what the psalmist in Hebrew
says his respect unto the statutes of God will be. And let's
not forget to note that in the second line, the words one
ought to stress, are stressed: "respect" and "statutes"
and "continually." But let us return to the first
line. Here we have something similar to what we saw in Psalm
132:9.
/ ' ' / / ' ' /
Hold thou me up, and I shall be safe:
The words before and after the "and" are
held up by the pillars of the mirrored sound patterns of
"Hold thou me up" (four beats, first and last
stressed) and "I shall be safe" (four beats, first
and last stressed). One is held up, and one is safe, and
one's sound foundation is quite sturdy! This mechanism of
building parallel sound structures is not limited to one
line. Here the sound pattern (four beats, first and last
stressed) is on "place and my shield" and then
in "hope in thy word".
KJV: "Thou art my hiding place and
my shield: / I hope in thy word" (Psalm
119:114).
Alter has: "My shelter and shield are
You. / For Your word I have hoped." He could have done
something similar to the KJV and it would have sang better:
You are my shelter and my shield. / For
Your word have I hoped
Or:
You, my shelter, and you, my shield. For
your word have I hoped.
The King James, as Bloom said, is consistently
eloquent. And it consistently uses all these patterning
devices. Alter uses one of them once in a while. He looks
therefore unsure of whether or not he really wants to say
what he's saying. He looks like a timid guest in the corner
who doesn't have any strong opinions about anything, but
at the same time, he looks like a large guest who keeps
clunking into the furniture and knocking things over, so
that you can't help but feeling your ears constantly crashed
into by jarring sounds. We would all do well to study and
be aware of how much powerful an effect poetic patterning
has on meaning. During the time of the Reformation it was
often said that hymns converted more people than any other
form of rhetoric did. Music, or patterned sound, has great
power. Through this power, onward well into the 21st
century the "Calvinist" (so Mr. Bloom calls it)
King James's translations marches on conquering all.
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